The Imtrader Ed.9 – Jokes

What insect lives on nothing?
A moth, because it eats holes.

Two blondes drive through the middle of South Australia, surrounded entirely by wheat fields.
The Blonde in the passenger seat says, “Look over there!” They see another blonde in scuba gear who is acting like she’s swimming through the wheat.
The blonde driving says, “Its girls like that who give us blondes a bad name.”
The other blonde says, “Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I’d go out there and tell her.”

 

The moment you realise, you grabbed the wrong spray…

grabbed wrong spray

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Original credit: https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/33dugl/that_moment_you_realize_you_grabbed_the_wrong/

 

TOP 10 REASONS FARM UTES AREN’T STOLEN:

#10 They have about 20km before they overheat, breakdown or run out of fuel.

#9 Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.

#8 It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.

#7 It takes too long to start, and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

#6 The Kelpie on the toolbox looks mean.

#5 They’re too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver’s side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, and there’s a dog on the back.

#4 The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you’re being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren’t cracked and covered with duct tape.

#3 Top speed is approximately 45 kmph.

#2 Who wants to steal a ute that needs a year’s worth of maintenance, u- joints, body work, tail-lights and windshield?

#1 It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.